I am sure you have heard the term “good vibes only” or “positive thoughts only” and though it may sound good, it is truly not something you should aspire to. The meaning behind think positive, stay positive, spread positivity are all good things but the “only” is what is not ideal.
There is a reason people have emotions, and these two phrases are telling you that you shouldn’t be unhappy, sad, frustrated, etc. But when you don’t allow yourself to have the feelings, you will suppress the feeling, or sweep them under the rug it will cause a lot more harm down the road. Humans are meant to have all emotions not just positive ones.
You should feel your feelings, not saying you should stay in those feelings for a long time, but you have to allow yourself to feel. Allow yourself to work through how you are feeling and don’t try to cover it up with toxic positivity. Which if you haven’t heard of toxic positivity, it is denial or minimizing of negative emotions. Psychology Today says, “Toxic positivity is the misguided belief that ‘positive thinking’ should be applied to all experiences of pain, suffering or difficulties, rather than acknowledge and deal with the downside.”
The only way you can know what a happy feeling is, is because you have felt sad, you can’t be calm if you don’t know what angry is. You can’t know peaceful if you don’t know restless. You can’t feel joy if you haven’t felt sorrow. Believe it of not having the sad, mad, frustrated, emotions help you grow as a person, it helps you work through your emotions and understand yourself better but if you are constantly not allowing yourself to feel your true feelings you are not allowing yourself to grow as a person. Also having and feeling your own emotions helps you develop empathy for others.
So yes, I know we all strive to be positive as much as we can but in this journey of life, allow yourself to go through all of the emotions not just the “good” ones. Allow yourself to grow as a person.
Also remember if you are a parent, your children have their own emotions and they too need to be allowed to have and show emotions, it’s how they become their own person and grow into adulthood. Talk to them ab out how they are feeling and why they are upset don’t just tell them to “get over it” or that they “aren’t grateful.”
Let’s say Good Vibes Mostly.
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